Interlude 3: Alfred Bitchcock Tennyson

AMAS SUNDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah buddy! Who you know fresher than Nic? Riddle Me That? S/o to @TeamMinajWales (Cries) *sighs* Rastafari. [rolls eyes] Read.

                                                                                                                            Cooncerely,

                                                                                                                                       Green & Purp

          I walked in the door to find Christopher John sitting on my couch. His leg was shaking and I just assumed he didn’t take his medicine. Seems like people with the same issues always tend to attract one another. He waved and I smilled. I can remember his dad telling stories about how wild he was as a kid. He would get into more shit then all of the Vaks combined. But after so many ass whoppin’s he mellowed out. It’s funny how having a good dad around can change some things.

Walking down the hall I heard movement coming from S.B.’s room. I tossed my bag on my bed and went to see what he was doing.

“Where you going?” I asked him. He was packing up a lot of shit. I waited for about 3 minutes and he still didn’t answer. So I got an attitude. “Safaree, I asked you a question.” I said. He was still ignoring me. “Safaree!”

“To CJ’s for a while.”

“What you mean for a while? You already act like you live there.” I said in a monotone voice. He didn’t respond. I leaned against his door way. “So you’re leaving me?”

“I just need to think some shit out.” He said. I smacked my lips. “And that ain’t gone happen with me here, sittin’ up under you.” Oh how I wanted him sittin’ up under me.

“If that’s what you feel you have to do, Safaree.” I told him. Shut the fuck up Onika!

He paused for a second, then went in his drawer to get some socks. After putting them in one of the oversized duffels sitting on his bed, he zipped it up.

“Aye CJ, come get this duffle for me son!” He shouted.

“You gone quit actin’ like you don’t hear me.” I told him, before standing straight up.

“Scuse me Nicki?” Chris John asked, trying to go pass me without making eye contact. I blocked the door.

“You.” I said, pointing in his face. “You helped put this idea in his head, didn’t you?” I accused. He didn’t respond and he didn’t have too. The guilt in his eyes told everything.

“That’s why I’ve always liked Rodrique better.” I mumbled. He grinned awkwardly, but I was telling the truth.

“Actually. It was all Fresh’s idea.” S.B. said. I could tell he wanted to laugh, but he knew better.

“And you absolutely agree?” I asked. “No doubts?”

He nodded, making a face that looked as though he was trying to convince himself. I looked at Chris John who had put his shades back on to prevent me from reading him anymore.

“Bullshit.” I told him. He kept quiet.

I shook my head then moved out the way, letting CJ by. S.B. went in his closet, bringing out some more shoes and his jewelry. He sat the shoes down at the end of the bed and put his cases in his backpack. There was a pink box that I never saw before. Hmmm. S.B. closed the bag and went to his bathroom, pullin’ the door up to a crack.

“Can you give us a minute?” I asked CJ with my best phony smile. He nodded, grabbing the full duffel before leaving out the room and disappearing down the hall.

Shutting the door, I quickly made it over to S.B.’s bed. I looked to see if he was coming first, then reached in his bag and pulled out the pink case. I looked back towards the bathroom before opening it.

“Really?!” I whispered to myself. It was the chain he’d bought me.

“What I tell you ‘bout goin’ through my stuff?” He asked, coming closer to me with his hand out. I turned, moving it out of his reach.

“Wh..?” I began.

“You say you don’t want me in yo shit, so stay outta mines.” He said, while snatching the case out my hands and closing it. But I do want you in my shit ‘Faree.

“Don’t tell me what I said.” I ordered while reaching for the case. He moved it. “Or what to do.” I added.

“Move!”

“You move!” I shot back, trying to keep up with his swift arm movements. “It’s mine anyways!” He switched hands.

“Oh, so now you want it.” He said, holding it up over his head. Cheater.

           I climbed up on the bed and swatted it out of his hand. It landed right in between the pillows and his head board. We looked at each other and before he could think about it much longer I made a dive for it. I landed and was about a hand’s reach away when he grabbed my leg, pulling me back. I cursed letting him get this long ass bed. Talkin’ bout Shaq got one, so why should he have to sleep with his feet hangin’ off the edge.

“Don’t be a Indian giver!” I yelled, kicking and trying to pull myself up. The only thing I was doing was pulling the sheets with me, bringing the pillows and making the box slide down into the space in between the mattress. I didn’t fall though, the space was too small.

“You are the CHIEF of Indian givers!” He shot back.

I stopped to roll over and kick him in his arms, but he kept it moving, never letting me go. Damn. How he fightin’ for this chain more than he fightin’ for our friendship? Twisted priorities, I thought to myself. I was getting tired, so I paused to take a break.

“You can let go now.” I said in between breaths. “I’m done.”

“You lie.” He said, trying to regulate his breathing too.

“Yep.” I said, yanking my leg up so hard I almost kneed me in the chest. 


            He was caught off guard so he lost his balance and fell onto the bed before my leg was completely freed. I quickly rolled back over to my stomach and crawled my way up. As I reached to pick up the pink box I thought about how foolish we must look. I’ve never been one to fight over materialistic things. If I couldn’t have it, I’d make a way. If I couldn’t make a way, then I’d leave it up to God. And if God didn’t provide it, then it wasn’t meant for me to have in the first place. Simple as that.

As my fingers came in contact with the smooth and hard container, I felt the bed jerk. Fuck.

“YOU ASSHOLE!” I shouted, before turning around to see S.B. standing at the foot of the bed with a smirk on his face. His hands were still gripping the mattress, which he had pulled farther away from the headboard, causing the box to slide down to the floor.

“Sorry guy.”

“Fuck you.”

“You could try reachin’ down there to get it.” He taunted, knowing my arms were too short. I was over it. Plus, I’d just get Martin to get it.

“Why?”

“Why what?” He asked, not making eye contact.

“Why do you have to leave?”

“It’s too painful to be in your presence right now.”

“Less painful than not?”

“Look Nicki. It’s obvious you don’t want me here. I get it.”

“No. What?! How the hell you come up with that conclusion?“ I wondered out loud.

“I won’t ignore my feelings anymore. For no one’s sake.” He said, still gazing off. 


           I didn’t know how to respond. I’d never heard what I’ve always expected him to do, said out loud. And I’ve never had too. I just assumed that he would, cuz he did once before. How selfish of me to press my luck twice and expect the same results.

“Safaree… I do want you here.” He stared at me.

“Do you Nicki? Do you want me the way I want you? Just say yes and I’ll be here forever.”

His face was so sincere. I had no idea he was so serious. I felt like complete shit as I tried to muster up something to say, but I couldn’t. I even ignored that his answer was a question, off topic and a threat. It didn’t help. All that kept running through my mind was the fact that I’ve been intentionally playing with his emotions all this time.

“Safaree.” I said, my voice breaking.

“Exactly.” He said, grabbing his shoes and bag before storming out the room. 


           I hopped up without thinking and chased after him. I wanted to yell stop, but after that what could I say to make him stay? I could apologize. Let him know that from this day forth, I’ll try with every fiber of my being to prevent this from ever happening again. Shit, I’d even humble myself to get on my knees and beg him to let me prove my word was true. And while I was down there, give him top that would make even the World Trade erect from the ashes. But that wouldn’t fix a gawtdamn thing. The only thing that would, is if I’d confess that I want him the way he wants me. And right now, that would be a lie. All I know at this very moment, is that I don’t want to lose him forever. So I’ll let him go.. for now.

I stood there, numb as he walked out the door with CJ on his heels. His stupid lackey ass almost forgot to shut the door behind him. He stepped back and nodded bye to me, before closing the door. I would’ve flicked him off but I was so drained, I couldn’t understand how I was still standing. And just as that thought passed I felt the weight of my lifeless body give into gravity.

My silent tears hit the floor, but I didn’t. Wayne had caught me. I forgot he was even here. We had went out to breakfast for his last day here. I can’t believe he had to witness that. Imagine if I’d decided to act out those pleads. I’d remember to kick CJ out, but Wayne would’ve seen me grovel. Soon my tears turned into sobs. I hadn’t seen Wayne walk over to me. Nor did feel him walk me to my room and help me into bed. I just felt the pain of my best friend in the world leaving me. I didn’t understand how he could just turn his back on me after all these years, but maybe I deserved it. I thought that his feelings for me were lost. I had no idea I was hurting him that much. Just like he has no idea how much he’s hurting me right now. I cried for the rest of the night with Wayne rubbing my back in circular motions. Soon the tears became too heavy, along with my eyelids. I was asleep before I could think about it much more.